Friday, 31 March 2017
I have no talents
I honestly used to have the same conversation in my head a few years ago and I remember expressing to my mum
" I don't feel like I'm good at anything, I can't draw, I don't play an instrument exceptionally well, I just do not have any tangible talents"
My mum mentioned some things to me that never left me that day, particularly the fact that you shouldn't identify your talents by the people around you or use it as a measure of how talented you actually are. Recently, I found myself having this conversation again with a friend which made me realise that I was not alone all those years ago and people often feel like they are also not good at anything.
Like me, you may feel as if your talent is intangible and you don't know if its something you can make use of. For example, before starting this blog I knew I had a passion to help others and I knew that people valued my opinion and advice when asked for, so I decided to create a platform where I could share my own journey of growth and ways I felt I could potentially contribute to at least one person's life. Another friend of mine is talented when it comes to looking after her natural hair and has recently started her own website www.
On the other hand, we have skills that could be natural talents but also things we can acquire such as playing piano. Sometimes we have things we may be good at, maybe not the best at, but have an interest in. If you want to be talented in that aspect, you need to push yourself and focus on dedicating yourself to that craft, master it & pursue it relentlessly. A lot of the time we see people who we admire that are "talented", forgetting the hard work and determination that is disguised behind that. If you want a great life you need to do something you are great at. Make it your mission to accomplish it because everyday you waste is one less day to pursue what you love, and one day further from making your dreams happen.
I think the first step is to recognise nothing is too small to be talented in; Think about that ONE thing you do really well, perhaps even better than others. That ONE thing that gives you a warm self-sense of accomplishment whilst you are doing it. That ONE thing that makes you happy after you have finished doing it. Hold on to it; Nurture it until it grows.
I don't know what your hidden talents are but they are lurking deep down within you, after all God created you with them. Find/Discover it and Stir it up. I know it's POWERFUL and it's time for you to either believe that, or believe what other people around you think.
lots of love,
K x
Friday, 3 March 2017
"HELP I'M OVERWHELMED"
First of all I just wanted to say you are already half way out of getting out of your "rut", because you have already recognised that you are feeling this way and want to make a change.
'I feel quite overwhelmed and I have no idea'
Secondly, if you agree with the above statement.. its okay , it does NOT make you weird, it does NOT mean you are being dramatic , it just means you are still human and it happens to the best of us, including me. Maybe you could be feeling overwhelmed because of something we call LIFE, that gets in the way sometimes and throws some unexpected things your way, or you could be like me who has had 10000 and billion things to do at a time. In fact the majority of February I was feeling so overwhelmed and very unbalanced, and felt like I was losing control of staying on top of things.
Personally I think the best way to overcome this before it spirals out of control and gets worse, is to take a step back. Take a break from some of the craziness around you, recognise that you come first and you cannot drain yourself and divide your energy everywhere if there is a cost. For me that meant taking a break away from blogging, re organising myself better making sure i was trying to be easy on myself and creating more me time.
Jonathan Fields has a simple framework called " Good life buckets", which I think is very useful in times like this to reflect on which areas of your life may be leaking or, not overflowing as it should be. The three buckets of life could be seen as contribution, connection and vitality, identify which buckets may be low and work on ways to contribute to that bucket.
I've just created this video to help explain the buckets further and how you can implement them.
For me when I took a step back I improved on taking care of myself more by improving the state of my mind and body by and improving my connections, spending more time being in tune with my friends and contacting and spending time with them more and trying to spend more time with God.
I hope you can use this evaluating tool to help push you out of feeling overwhelmed.
Kuro x
'I feel quite overwhelmed and I have no idea'
Secondly, if you agree with the above statement.. its okay , it does NOT make you weird, it does NOT mean you are being dramatic , it just means you are still human and it happens to the best of us, including me. Maybe you could be feeling overwhelmed because of something we call LIFE, that gets in the way sometimes and throws some unexpected things your way, or you could be like me who has had 10000 and billion things to do at a time. In fact the majority of February I was feeling so overwhelmed and very unbalanced, and felt like I was losing control of staying on top of things.
Personally I think the best way to overcome this before it spirals out of control and gets worse, is to take a step back. Take a break from some of the craziness around you, recognise that you come first and you cannot drain yourself and divide your energy everywhere if there is a cost. For me that meant taking a break away from blogging, re organising myself better making sure i was trying to be easy on myself and creating more me time.
Jonathan Fields has a simple framework called " Good life buckets", which I think is very useful in times like this to reflect on which areas of your life may be leaking or, not overflowing as it should be. The three buckets of life could be seen as contribution, connection and vitality, identify which buckets may be low and work on ways to contribute to that bucket.
I've just created this video to help explain the buckets further and how you can implement them.
For me when I took a step back I improved on taking care of myself more by improving the state of my mind and body by and improving my connections, spending more time being in tune with my friends and contacting and spending time with them more and trying to spend more time with God.
I hope you can use this evaluating tool to help push you out of feeling overwhelmed.
Kuro x
Tuesday, 7 February 2017
GUEST POST: Fear of Failure
“Abigail
wants to do well, but fails to turn that desire into a reality.” This is exactly
what my Economics teacher wrote and submitted as my reference to the
universities I was applying to. I disliked him for putting that into my reference,
but the anger I felt was just because I hated the truth he had uncovered in the
two years he was my teacher. I used to have this bad habit of not trying
as much as I could, because I feared trying hard and failing anyway. Not trying
sheltered my ego, it gave me a reason whenever I didn’t do so well. I would
still be labelled a ‘smart person’, because though I barely put in any work,
slept in all my classes and chatted my life away I still attained the average
B. “I didn’t even do any work, imagine
what I could achieve if I did,” the most overused line of my life; used to
motivate myself to do more next time. Next time never came.
That mentality led
me to changing courses after my 1st year in university, then getting
kicked out of university after my second 1st year attempt, appealing
and getting back in, which now means I am finishing my 1st year of
university on my 3rd attempt.
2 years and I had not made one step of progression. All because I
feared to fail; fail in every aspect of my life, not just academically, but
spiritually, physically, mentally you naaaaaame it. I felt so safe in my
failures that I didn’t try to change anything, I ended up just pitying myself.
Comfortable wallowing in self-pity, I was basically scared of feeling anything
else. How can I expect myself to become this great woman; a woman that will
bring about change, a woman that will raise the value of black lives, a woman
that will challenge the thinking of the ignorant, a woman that will operate
outside the system, yet strive above everyone that believes it’s the only way
to success, when I’m incapable of progressing beyond the imaginary barriers I
have built with my own mind?
“No weapon turned against you will
succeed.” – Isaiah 54:17. Weapons
won’t succeed but that doesn’t mean they won’t turn against you. Everybody goes
through things but how you handle it and grow above it determines who you are.
I let my struggles define me, few series of unfortunate events and I completely
believed and lived the life of a good for nothing individual. I ended up
playing a game of broken and weak in private versus whole and strong in public.
I even started questioning my intelligence and capabilities and whether I even
still liked Maths (if you know me personally you know that’s an absolute
joketing). From then I started to want to change and be better. “Call
to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you
do not know.” – Jeremiah 33:3. I had fallen so low and with no
direction of where to go, I had no choice but to call on to God.
In my search for God, one verse had
always stuck out to me. “And He said to
me, “My grace is
sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, most gladly I will rather
boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9. In reading the full chapter I realised that during
adversities and moments of weaknesses, believing that God’s grace is enough to
pull you through tough times, can inevitably turn your weak moments into
gratifying strengthening breakthroughs. I held this verse very close to my
heart to allow God’s strength to change me and make me into the person I was
yearning to be.
1.
Tell yourself the truth.
It can be so easy to
deceive yourself into believing everything is good and you’re the best you can
be, but in reality, there is so much that you could work on. If you’re useless
and doing nothing with your life, tell yourself, if you’re fat and unhealthy,
tell yourself, if you’re struggling with your mental health, tell yourself. Be
honest and check yourself in order to become a better version of you. There’s
no wrong in admitting you have a problem and finding ways to fix it.
2. Seek help.
You can half the tasks at hand by
reaching out to those who have the potential to help you. Whether it be getting
some counselling, getting a mentor or a personal trainer, seek the help you
need to overcome your struggles.
3. Remove
negativity.
So much trash can cloud your judgment and your ability to be
better. TV shows, music, unhealthy habits, people and the list can really go
on. It’s your responsibility to identify and acknowledge the things that are
holding you back from achieving greatness and remove them from your life.
4. Feed your mind.
“There is nothing
as powerful as a changed mind” – TD
Jakes. What you feed
your mind will affect your life whether you want it to or not. Daily positive
affirmations of yourself or positive motivational speeches will mould your mind
into believing the things you have fed it. I’m not going to lie I tell myself
I’m a smart and confident being every single day, in doing so I hope to do
everything with confidence and I believe no task is too hard for me to complete,
because I truly believe I am intelligent. Choose to only fill your mind with
things that will elevate and edify who you are as a person.
Last but definitely the most important.
5.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and
all these things shall be added to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” – Matthew 6:33-34
I’ve hit many bumps on my road to success; I’ve battled depression,
suicidal thoughts and anxiety to the point I was making myself ill. I wish I
could be writing this blog entry with one big happy ending but really and truly
I’m just starting out my journey. However, I can say that though I fell, many
lessons were learnt. I wish I could share all of them and how I came about my
discoveries, but you’d be here forever, but I hope the little I’ve shared blesses
you reading this.
"Our
greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Confucius
Abigail Hitimana
Monday, 30 January 2017
Success behind your faults
*WATCH CLIP IN POST & CONTINUE READING*
I found myself in so much awe when I stumbled across this video of the young man who played the piano with no hands. I was so moved and honestly found myself getting emotional and it wasn't because he was able to play the piano, but because of how beautiful it sounded due to the passion he had that was infused throughout his movement.
This inspired me so much and as I pondered after watching the video, I realised that what most of us would call a limitation, he used as a strength and pushed past all social norms and what society may have told him in order to conquer his dreams and live them out. Some of our weaknesses are obvious to others and some are hidden. They can be major obstructions that affect our lives, minor inconveniences that can be avoided in day to day life. However they do not need to remain the same forever, which led me to ask myself;
I found myself in so much awe when I stumbled across this video of the young man who played the piano with no hands. I was so moved and honestly found myself getting emotional and it wasn't because he was able to play the piano, but because of how beautiful it sounded due to the passion he had that was infused throughout his movement.
This inspired me so much and as I pondered after watching the video, I realised that what most of us would call a limitation, he used as a strength and pushed past all social norms and what society may have told him in order to conquer his dreams and live them out. Some of our weaknesses are obvious to others and some are hidden. They can be major obstructions that affect our lives, minor inconveniences that can be avoided in day to day life. However they do not need to remain the same forever, which led me to ask myself;
Is there any weakness that is too hard to overcome?
Sometimes I find myself pushing my weaknesses or things that I would class as "faults" further down inside of me, because I feel like there are no solutions. Another reason is due to fear to try and change, fear of failure, FAILURE ( pretty scary, right?) wrong !
Failure can be scary but if we let it rule our lives we end up going nowhere. Just like when we try to switch on the engine in our cars and find the biting point we end up stalling before we even start our journey. We must facilitate a mindset where we accept our weakness and remember that hidden in your weaknesses are your strengths. So stop running away from what you think your limitations may be and embrace who you are. Sometimes a perception change will allow us to think differently about our limitations and help us push through or sometimes we can use them in growth and focus on improving and learning more in that area.
Whatever your weakness may be I hope this Monday you are encouraged to think differently about it, and inspired to continue being the best version of yourself.
Lots of Love
K x
( I hope you have enjoyed this months series of motivation Mondays and they will now be Monthly along with other posts)
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